4. For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why.(8 Marks)
When revising my post, I focused on making it more engaging, easier to skim, and action driven while applying Plain English writing principles. The original version was too wordy and not structured effectively for how people read online. Instead of making readers work to find key details, I rewrote it to be scannable, clear, and persuasive with simple grammatical structures.(Briscoe, W8 – A – Plain Language Writing, Slide 83)
One of the biggest changes was optimizing the F-pattern structure. Since just because you are using Plain English it doesn’t mean you don’t need the F pattern. People don’t read every word they scan, focusing on the first few words of each section and moving their eyes down in an “F” shape. My original post didn’t fully take this into account because key details were buried in long paragraphs. The revised version ensures that within seconds, a reader understands the product and its benefits.(Briscoe, W8 – A – Plain Language Writing, Slide 83)
Another major fix was strengthening the Call-to-Action (CTA). The first version had a weak CTA that was hidden at the bottom, making it easy to miss. The new version places the CTA right after the product benefits, when the reader is most likely to act. It’s also clearer and more persuasive, ensuring that users know exactly what to do next. (Briscoe, W8 – A – Plain Language Writing, Slide 4)
The language itself was also improved, the first post had unnecessary words that slowed down comprehension. The revision follows Plain English principles by using shorter sentences, simpler vocabulary, and an active voice to make reading effortless. Instead of lengthy explanations, I made each sentence serve a direct purpose. (Briscoe, W8 – A – Plain Language Writing, Slide 70)
Readability and accessibility were also improved. Long paragraphs were broken into smaller sections, key points were placed in bullet points, and spacing was adjusted to make the text more inviting to read. This is especially important for mobile users, where cluttered text could feel overwhelming. The first version was functional but not optimized for the user’s experience or engagement, the new version is designed for how real people read online. It gets their attention, delivers the message fast, and makes the next step obvious. Instead of just being readable, it’s built to convert users into buyers.
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